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why do i fall in love with people who cant love me back because they are closed with their feelings?
im in love, but the man who i am in love with, has never loved anyone, and is really closed with his feelings, he likes me but doesnt love me, i havent told him my feelings, its been 4 months, ive only just begun to feel this way myself, im not one to fall in love quickly, but with him its different, but he says he doesnt attach to people very well. I know i cant possibly tell him how i feel, because he will leave me for not feeling the same way, i have so much love to give, but i choose the wrong people to give it to, im so stuck, help me out of this rut, what can i do? leave him now before i fall deeper? it will just happen again, i seem to attract guys who are not comfortable with their feelings help me! im lovelorn ive never loved anyone before, it feels different with him, like i belong, ive never felt that before, i feel like im going to stuff this up, because of my feelings, i want the same back, but if im not going to get it what should i do?? help me!!! its long distance too, so makes it so much harder, ive travelled a long way to see him, but, he said he wont consider asking me out properly unless i lived nearer, argh!!! what can i do, give him an ultimatum or just get out?
asked in love, relationships, problems



Topaz2308 answers:

He may feel the same way as you but have you actually asked him what his feelings are towards you? He might be feeling the same way as you but just to frightened to tell you for fear of rejection and with you hiding your feelings it is a vicious circle of no one saying anything.

So I suggest you sit down together and have an honest and frank conversation on where you both see this relationship going. If he is not willing to put in the effort and time that it takes to make a relationship work then you both need to move on and find someone who loves you as much as you love them.


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jacquesdor answers:

There isn´t any way to make someone love you. However strong your feelings are for him, if he is not capable of feeling that love for you there is nothing you can do to change that.
Would you be happy in a one way relationship, giving so much love but not having it returned? It does seem you are the one doing all the giving, you are travelling long distances while he is staying put and just taking what you have to give.
My feeling is that this is not likely to work in the long term.
You say you have so much love to give, but it should be returned, you deserve to be loved and cared for.
An ultimatum is very likely to end the relationship, he doesn´t seem to care deeply enough to put much effort into it at this point. Perhaps he is incapable of feeling deeply and giving himself.
Move on. Don´t waste your life and your love on someone who doesn´t value it.
Don´t let yourself get desperate looking for love - it will come with the right person and in the right time. Concentrate on your life, make it as good as it can be, find plenty of things to occupy yourself and let fulfillment on your own terms take you away from this searching for someone to love.
This is a terrible cliche but true, you need to love yourself. Realise you are worthy of being loved,believe you deserve more in life.
I feel for you, because I have recently come out of a one way relationship, I loved him so much, but the fact is he just didn´t love me. I wasted years of my life and endured massive pain, there is nothing you can do to make someone love you.
Don´t let that heppen to you.
Move on, it will happen in good time.Don´t think you can turn this into something it is not.
Good luck, be strong and don´t throw yourself away.


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Theminxy1 answers:

One way relationships are hell. Add distance, and you are bound to spend all your time doubting and wondering.

You need to ask him how he feels before you can make any decision. Faint heart never won buff fella and all that. You should tell him that you're having to brave your fear of rejection to ask him how he feels, and that you need him to do the same ?


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