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Does your music choice give an insight into your sexuality?
I'm phrasing this question carefully, so as to not cause offence to anyone. Can the music that you choose be a reflection on your sexuality, or are, for example, certain styles of music or musical performance likely to appeal to different sexualities?

To lay my cards on the table, even at my wedding, my best man (who is g a y) criticised my music collection for being a bit, erm, homosexual. I can't think why: I still hold Kylie's greatest hits, Abba, Cher, Bucks Fizz: The Best and the Rest, and my collection of movie and musical soundtracks close to my heart. Streisand was pelting out "People" at the birth of my daughter, and I still love to hear Dame Judy (Garland, not Dench) singing "Somewhere over the Rainbow".

What is it that makes this collection of music seem so, well, g a y? What is it that attracts people to this music generally? For me, I love singing along in the car when no-one is listening, and this genre of music usually includes more 'pelt it out' songs than contemporary pop, indie, rock or, god forbid, rap.

So, are there any links between music preference and sexuality, and is this learned behaviour? Can you change your music preference, or would that be like asking someone to change their sexuality? Why are certain genres of music associated with homosexuality?
asked in sexuality, music, psychology

Hiheels answers:

I think music choice gives an insight in to psyche, which of course involves every aspect of character.

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Maygs answers:

No I don't think so; more with what hiheels said above; shows more about your personality.

Although typically, if you were to go a gay club you would hear the cheesy oldschool songs, it's raining men, YMCA, etc, but this is more tongue in cheek than actual taste.

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Redslap answers:

Opening a whole can of worms here... possibly because being g a y (or black, or disabled, or single, or married, or eccentric or any other thing that makes you different) attracts (less now, but still does) stigma, abuse and derision from many sources, those of that community/minority are necessarily stronger and have learned the truly important lesson that it does not matter what people think of you. So they have freed themselves from fitting in with the "norm" and can just enjoy the things they enjoy.

In my experience people who have visited hell in their personal lives are much more likely to cheerfully admit to liking cheesy music and movies. Maybe they just want some light and fun (dammit!) in their lives, maybe experiencing deep darkness allows them to appreciate the good stuff more freely.

Personally, as I have said before, I love the cheesy stuff - I like singing along (so long as no-one can hear me) and dancing like a loon - it's fun. If that means people think I'm g a y, who cares?

Something like that anyway... I feel like I'm not being clear today but I hope you get the drift.

By the by, why do I need to put spaces in between the letters to stop the starring out?

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imfeduptoo answers:

I hope not because my preferences in music have changed so often over the years that I would seem to be a thoroughly mixed up person if it reflected my sexuality preferences!
Since first discovering music I have gone through stages of preferring romantic love songs, rock 'n' roll, big bands, jazz....anyone judging my preferences by my choice of music would be a bit confused.

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vultan answers:

I don't imagine all g a y men like the kind of music you list above - I'm sure there are plenty who like stuff like Eminem. I'm another straight man who likes a lot of music that appeals to some g a y men, so it stands to reason that there must be g a y men who listen to music that is usually thought of as 'straight'.

The kind of music you list is all pretty camp - usually female vocalists, expressing complex and powerful emotions in often hilariously simple terms and with very hummable melodies. Obviously some performers, like Kylie, are going for a deliberate camp vibe specifically to appeal to that demoraphic, knowing that she won't alienate homophobic audiences as long as she shimmies around in her scanties.

Some g a y men embrace the whole camp thing with enthusiasm, and for those people there's a whole world of great music to enjoy - and so many artists you haven't even named, including, I would hope, The Shangri-Las, the campest girl-band ever. But I don't think there's anything even remotely weird about straight men liking them. I can't abide Streisand or Minogue, but I'm fond of the others (I once did a karaoke version of Gypsies Tramps and Thieves that I like to think of as triumphant).

I don't think you can change your music taste - if I like something I'll usually keep liking it, and if I dislike something it won't suddenly start appealing to me if I listen to it more often. But you can keep expanding your repertoire of favoured music.

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Bubs86 answers:

I for one think music tastes depend on what you are exposed to. Throughout my childhood my parents drove me to school and the music in their car was the 70s stuff and old soft rock like bruce Springsteen, Brian Adams and Meatloaf. As a result I like that older music even though I am 22. However in the staffroom at work now they play the videos for the top 10 every day, so for the first time in my life I know the top ten and like serveral songs in the charts. This is not a drastic change in tastes but an example of being exposed to different types of music in different environments. How can you like something, if you dont know it exists?

I think some bands have high gay followings but that is more to do with the band members looks, dress sense and personality rather than actual song choice.

I cant see there is any correlation between sexuality and music choice!

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mercman99 answers:

I don't think it really matters.If a performer is out and out gay it may attract a certain audience of the orientation to which the band/performer may aspire.Look at the following Queen and Eddie Mercury had as a contradiction to the campness of the front man,one of the biggest ever rock bands in the world.I didn't care he was gay,the music was great.
You hear all sorts of music and if you like it you like it,which way the performer(s)choose to swing shouldn't matter.
Pop music is the most transient of fashion and only the small minority of performers last more than a few years to be influencial to any great degree.
My wife and i are at the opposite ends of the music scale from the 70's and as such she enjoys the 'Girly' stuff and i enjoy the ballsy guitar based rock,but neither of us are in a time warp and enjoy a variety of sounds and styles.
That said,she just bought the DVD for Mama Mia which i won't be watching but i'd put an Abba CD on in the car without fearing i was becoming less 'blokeish'.

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Some people like the big,Ostentacious,overblown,excessive, opulent, decorative, baroque and self indulgent sort of music. Its self consciously melodramatic and kitcsh; almost a kind of post modern irony thing where you pretend something is wonderful when its reaslly awful. I think thats how it started. The gay community adopted some of the big pop mainstream rejects as a badge of identity. They identify with the melodrama and the Diva delivering it.

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robinsamuels answers:

I read a book recently, where the hero gets into a fight with a couple of g ay bashers.

Being the hero, he obviously beats them. One of the guys he gives a good kicking to, while signing People at the top of his voice.

Had a good chuckle to myself at the use of the stereotype back at the bigots, even if just in fiction.

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